Eli Roth’s HOSTEL – I’m So Not Impressed

by on April 9, 2010

in Entertainment, movie reviews

OK, I’ve never gone out of my way to see Eli Roth’s Hostel series. I’ve seen some scenes and to be honest, over-the-top gore makes no sense to me and somewhat disagrees with me, but hey, screen-ick is what it is.

Last night at 7 p.m., I was surprised to see the Syfy Channel airing Hostel, so I thought cool, I finally get to see what this is all about!

Or not.

I only made through the first 40 minutes of the telecast movie when I decided to take my dog for a walk for more entertainment.

The first 40 minutes of Hostel addressed the premise of 3 young men cruising through Amsterdam, and getting laid and taking drugs. 40 minutes. That’s like 25 real-time minutes if you pull the advertising, but jeeze people, Hostel just seemed like an excuse to film skin, use constant profanity and demonstrate open drug use.

Personally, I have no problem with any of these subject matters but Hostel has proven to me how hard it is to translate to regular television. That’s an important factor. When I was in stand-up, one factor that folks took into consideration was to keep a routine clean or not. Clean meant translatable to television. If you’re []ing good, it almost didn’t matter… but the mid to small guys, it did.

With Hostel, if you paid [] attention to the [] dialog that was [] coming out of their [] mouths, you’d [] notice how many [] blank, quiet [] spots were [] injected into the [] movie on [] TV, []!

The folks that had to edit the film to be presentable on TV was also something I had to admire, considering how many gray blurbs had to be injected into the scenes… it was almost as blurry as my previous paragraph was []’d! I bet they had fun with it though!

In regards to blurred scenes, there were moments in the background scenes that surprised me in that they made it to the TV screen!

So I only lasted so long and moved on and Hostel is one movie I can add to a very short list of movies I just don’t need to see. Is it terrible? No… They sent to great lengths to hire incredible looking girls for almost every scene… attention to detail was right there with other factors of the project.

It’s just not what I want to do with my time when it’s so limited, and besides, I’ve already spent the day cussing about something or someone, so I’m done with that by the time I get home!

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