Facebook Was Down – Oh What Did We Do? (A Humorous Take on the Moment)

by on December 11, 2012

in consumer

facebook offline, my life in ruinsI’m sure that some of the billions of Facebook users yesterday, (12/10/12), noticed that the power social site was offline for an hour, right?  This came on the tail of a a Google outage.  I’m sure the conspirator head-cases will make something of that, but it was just our digital world, having a tectonic digi-shift… or more to the point, the matrix of Google and Facebook, shifting our exposures to the net!

Facebook took a dive around 2:45pm (CA time), and the apparent issue was that it was making changes to its DNS infrastructure. (That can’t be good.  Whenever they make changes in the background something is always afoot!)

I had posted on my personal FB account when it came back up about an hour later,

OH My god… it’s back… I was hyper-ventilating with no Facebook!!!

And it got me to thinking…

When Facebook went down, I started to panic.

I’ll never talk to my friends ever again!  Most of my FB friends aren’t on Twitter or Google Plus… those are very different beasts to regular surfing folk and are somewhat useless!

Oh what will I do???

Am I going to have to start using the U.S. Post Service again?  What???  Snail mail?  OMG, I’ll never have another decent online, anonymous conversation ever again.  I’ll have to learn to write, with a pen, all over again!

Seriously, I tried to actually write a check last month and my hand just stared back at me, looking for a keyboard.

I grabbed a beer and a coffee (ADD, can’t decide) and curled up in a ball, my nerves rattled… waiting… hitting refresh… hitting refresh.  Hitting refresh harder does no good either.  The screen just stares back at you as if you never hit it the previous few dozen times.

Now that my web page error message is cached in my browser, will I ever see Facebook again?

I rushed to my window for air and saw that there were people milling about outside… walking around like zombies, not sure what to do.  Facebook Zombies… Face Zombies…  we had no control of our lives any more!  The world’s society was about to collapse.  I could feel it!

And Mark Zuckerberg was about to become a normal multi-mega zillionaire because he could no longer continue to share our personal data with all his advertisers.

I FELT SO ALONE now that all my personal date wasn’t being rifled through by unknown advertisers and their game apps!  (Oh, wait, I block all the game apps.  Never mind on that point.)  But every other app was still looking, putting out their probing digital fingers reaching for my demographic soul.  I could feel it!

But as the hour was up, my coffee drained in a nervous fit of anxiety, I started to eyeball my beer.  The end was near, I could feel it!  Well, it was.  My coffee had one sip to go.

And suddenly everyone’s favorite FB blue top banner was back and it looked like it had never gone away!  And there was my name, in the upper right corner… ahh.

My online, digital validity had returned.

And I could breathe once again!  Whew!  That was a close one!  For a moment I thought I would have to package all my demographic advertising notes and sell them off, one at a time to all the advertisers!

And so my day is back to normal…  and now I can post this to Facebook.



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