My dog Izzy (Izzie), passed away on November 17th, at 5:45 p.m., after a slow decline over the last year of her health in general. We have a hole in our hearts from her absence that I don’t think can ever be filled. And that hole is a blaring sense of silence. A loud gap in our lives.
When Izzy was around, there were so many ways that she filled our lives and we never really noticed. It was mostly day-to-day things. Things that seemed annoying at the time. But now I see they were things that came from the love between a human and the canine that is hard to explain to those who don’t get it.
I wonder what she’s up to and if she’s chasing squirrels or fireworks, trains or roller coasters up “there.” Seriously!
And she spent whole days chasing each set of cars that went by. She loved that.
But down here, things aren’t so fun right now. That huge hole of missing things in our lives includes that “stupid panting” that drowned out everything, her tailgating us everywhere we went in the house, having to step over her every few minutes. Yep… annoying, indeed. And now missed.
I miss how we’ll never need to get up in the morning and let her out. Or having her sit outside the shower door to guard us. We no longer have that anxiety hovering over us when we leave her at home, worrying about hurrying back. And these are just a few of dozens of little quirks we now miss.
Heck, I still stand at the back door and stare at the backyard, wishing I could see her just one more time. But nothing. Just an empty lawn that no longer needs pick up.
There’s this emptiness in almost every facet of our lives that I never imagined or noticed that she filled. Heck, even the cats are looking all over for her. We all miss her.
And to think, all those things that “annoyed” me… are more precious than I ever imagined. I want my “baby girl” back. It’s too damn quiet around here because there’s no water lapping or food crunching. Just too quiet, except for the sound of my weeping heart.
The next time your family pet upsets or annoys you, try to ratchet your frustration down a level and understand why. And try to pull some enjoyment out of the moment. Because someday, these moments will be cherished memories you will miss.
footnote: I used to spell her name Izzie and my wife would spell her name Izzy. My wife is devastated by our loss and out of respect for her, I’ve been spelling it like she likes to spell it… Izzy.