‘Jersey Shore Shark Attack’ TV Review

by on June 10, 2012

in Entertainment, tv reviews

'Jersey Shore Shark Attack' tv review

Jersey Shore Shark Attack premiered on Syfy, starts out with an oil drilling rig sending out shock waves through the ocean, pissing off some sharks that were hanging out in some deep, dark cave.  We then head off to Jersey Shore, where our first two pretty people jump into the water and get eaten.

Hence, with a nice, simple reason why sharks go nuts in Jersey Shore Shark Attack, they head off to the coast and starting eating the pretty young people.

'Jersey Shore Shark Attack' - 02 - review

We meet Nooki as she charges up to start banging on the door while a guy inside, called “The Complication” is scrambling to get last night’s date out the door.

The movie takes no qualms in dicing on the real Jersey Shore reality TV series, as they “develop” the characters for us.  Though, as they developed the characters, I was getting anxious for the next shark attack!!!  And it happens pretty quickly, to a lone fisherman.

The cast includes

Jeremy Luc as TC ‘The Complication’; Melissa Molinaro as Nooki (The Pussycat Dolls Present: The Search for the Next Doll); Jack Scalia, Paul Sorvino (yes, THE Paul Sorvino); yes… the William Atherton (Real Genius), Tony Sirico (The Sopranos); Joey Russo, Daniel Booko (A voice actor whose worked in quite a few hit movies); Alex Mauriello as J-moni; Audi Resendez as BJ (mostly done stunt work in quite a few movies); Grant Harvey (The Secret Life of the American Teenager) and Joey Fatone, but his role is so quickly executed and dispensed with that it was quite the shame!  But his exodus is CLASSIC!

'Jersey Shore Shark Attack' - Vinny Guadagnino

And if you’ve ever seen the real Jersey Shore, then you recognized the TV news reporter that kept popping up… as none other than Vinny Guadagnino.

Jersey Shore Shark Attack - a dramatic snoozer

Jersey Shore Shark Attack - a dramatic snoozer

As we all know, Syfy Saturday night movies are not dramatically engaging.  Ask my cat, pictured above.  But that’s not what they’re about.  They’re about the fun they can be…  and to be honest, this was fun.

Throughout the movie, we have wet tee-shirt contests at the local beach bar with plenty of “assets” for the TV viewing audience to enjoy.  Bar brawls, Nooki cranking out a totally ‘over the top’ version of Snooki.  (I presume it’s over the top)

'Jersey Shore Shark Attack' - Nooki

They play up the Italian lineage of the kids… accents and confusion about a Vinnie they know.  There’s a great scene where the kids are trying to ID a boat… it’s Vinnie’s boat…  but it takes them forever to figure out which Vinnie it is that they know.

The story has a classic conflict between the regular guys of the shore and the rich kids…  and there are sharks in the water, everywhere!

This movie makes no qualms about having great looking girls or guys in the movie.  They’re quick to make fun of themselves and for once, it’s so bad, it’s great fun.  As compared to movies that almost seem like they’re trying to look serious while peppering the cast with hot bodies.  Here, it’s a hot body movie peppered with sharks.

It has fun making fun of itself with hi-pressured blood spurts with every bite of every hot actor.

But everyone has their critics… my cats were cringing, but they were trying to take the movie serious.  Therein lies the secret, to come into these Syfy Saturday night movies with fun in mind!  (If possible!)

The movie looks better from this angle=

Personally, I wouldn’t go out of my way to catch Jersey Shore Shark Attack, but if it comes up and you’re either a fan of the reality TV series or the Saturday night popcorn fare, then stick around, leave it on and be prepared to start laughing.

If this hits it off in the TV ratings, I would not be surprised if more projects like this start to pop up.  This TV-movie was a great license to mock and it was finally done right on Syfy.

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