Review: ‘Total Recall’ Remake

by on April 29, 2013

in Entertainment, movie reviews

Total Recall remake, a review

I just caught the remake of the 1990 movie, Total Recall, the 2012 remake starred Colin Farrell as Quaid/Hauser, Kate Beckinsale as his “wife,” and Jessica Biel as Melina. Bryan Cranston played Cohaagen.

It was directed by Len Wiseman (Underworld movie franchise, Live Free Die Hard).

And I had the impression that the movie was made for folks who had already seen the original, so they glazed over story and stuffed the action down your throat.  And considering the amount of “eye candy” in the film, they missed the target audience there also.

The non-spoiler take:

If you like your James Bond movies, where you have 20 minutes of action, 5 minutes of talk, 1 minute of story, then repeat ‘x’ number of times, then this movie is definitely for you.

Colin Farrell in Total Recall, a review

In the 2012 version, they updated the supporting cast with robot cops, eliminated the Mars angle and stuck with a war ravaged Earth. Even though they stepped away from the existence of mutants, they still managed to have a three-breasted woman cameo in the movie. Yay for consistency!

There were also a few other nods or parallel moments, events or characters to the original. And overall, the Quaid/Hauser, fake wife story line were in there too.

Kate Beckinsale in Total Recall, a review

And what the hell happened to Kate Beckinsale? She looked very different in this movie, from her other movies. But after looking around, it seems that she got very thin in the face. (I thought she had a nose job, but the thin face look just made it look different.)  Clarification: She’s still gorgeous.

Kate Beckinsale in Underworld movie

I loved Beckinsale in the Underworld movies, but her role in Total Recall was as transparent as the story was lacking. If you want to see an obsessed, pissed off agent, who has shown zero motivation for why she’s so possessed about her task, then so be it.  This movie might have been one of her more transparent roles to date, meaning, ug.

Then the rest of the movie is Farrell and Beckinsale constantly running from the bad guy.   Farrell and Beckinsale shined as the action heroes we’ve come to know.

I think I would have liked it less had I not seen the original, and had a slightly better understanding of the story in the background.

on Amazon: Total Recall (+ UltraViolet Digital Copy)

All in all, I’m glad I missed seeing this in theaters, and glad I didn’t pay/rent it via On Demand.

But as a time killer on TV, it serves it purpose. But don’t be expecting any emotional spark. Well, that is, unless you like watching the eye candy.  Then you’ll be fine.

Movie Review Popcorn Score 06On the popcorn movie review scale, I think it rates a popcorn 6, but only because it filled in for a time slot of the night when nothing else was on.

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