Sharktopus vs. Pteracuda Review – Run!

by on August 2, 2014

in Entertainment, tv reviews

Yes, Sharktopus vs. Pteracuda, a creature that is half-pterodactyl, half-barracuda, controlled by computer chips in its body, premiered on Syfy.

The movie opens with “exciting” themed music, then we see a bungee jumper getting eaten by Sharktapus, as we watch the final moments of its life from a previous movie, as it gets blown up. But something floats out to sea. And that something has a baby Sharktapus in it.

Sadly, it’s found by a marine biologist who ends up abusing it for side shows and a big study.

We watch a think-tank who has secretly harvested dinosaur DNA and created this Pteracuda killing machine. Except during its first test run, someone takes over the computer chip and turns it against the think tank.

The think tank sends up its security force in a helicopter to take it out and some of the worst film editing on the planet takes place.

We have to get closer. We can’t hit it at this range.” It’s about 20 feet away.

Or when it cuts open one of the security team on the right side of the helicopter, but the guys on the left side of the chopper are still shooting out into the air!

Sigh.

Later we find that Sharktapus is being trained for shows but is acting up.  The facility owner is as lame of a character as I’ve ever seen.

At this point I could only make it to the thirty-minute mark of the hour before changing channels. It felt like an Asylum production, but it was a New Horizons Picture production, which turns out to be a Roger Corman company.

In other words, it’s like an Asylum production, but with better film editing, sort of. If that says anything.

I tuned back in for the last 15 minutes, and sat slack jawed watching at how it became no better or worse.  It was just horrible.

In the past, I’ve said that sometimes a movie is bad, but not horrible. Don’t go looking it up, but if it came on, don’t change the channel. It might be entertaining.

I’m not saying that about this flick.

If you see this on your channel guide, run.  Run far and fast. Or just change the channel.

[Sharktopus Products on Amazon]

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