This is a recant of a moment this hit me the other day. Whether you take this as a piece of self help or a moment of inspiration motivation, well, that’s up to you. But if it says something to at least one person, then the intent here is done!
There I was, enjoying a quick lunch of ‘Clams and Chips‘ in a small, local seafood place. I don’t get a chance to eat seafood that much so when I do, I fully appreciate and enjoy my time. I mostly savor every bite. I settled into a corner table where I could see out the windows and watch the rain, while reading the final book of my Chaos Walking trilogy on my Kindle.
I took my time, reading my book, eating my lunch. As I was coming to the close of my lunch, I had just a few clams left. Two good sized and one tiny piece. I was so looking forward to these last two pieces. I had a lot of motivation to enjoying the meal and even more so in those last few pieces. Hence, I reached out, picked them up, and as I carried these two savory pieces of clam to their fates, I dropped them. I was holding them in such a way that they were pressed against each other between my fingers. They were very round and they rolled out of my grasp. Those two pieces that I had built up such an anticipation for, were gone. Rolling across the floor, and no, the public restaurant floor does not qualify for that 10-second rule.
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How many times have we heard that if we just believe in ourselves, we can do anything we put our minds to? Too many. It’s the bread and butter of many an inspirational song and self help guru. Right?
What they don’t say is that before you jump into anything, you need to do your homework and understand what it is you’re jumping into.
Just going all whacked out, pedal to the metal is great but if you’re not prepared, it just means you’ll have a serious head of steam when you go flying off that short pier we always hear about.
Trust me on this one. I fell for a relative’s constant set of assurances that everything will be fine. What I didn’t know when I took the bait to jump into the real estate market in 2004 (Yea, yea… I know. Don’t say it.) was that everything will be fine for her. All the while we “share” commissions while she tutored me.
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Did you know that what you’ve accomplished or not accomplished in the past does not affect your future?
It doesn’t, really.
Sure, you may have just come up with a grand idea for your company to cut some costs. But once they implement it, then what? If you do nothing else, that’s the last time they’ll think of you. It will be the last time you get a bonus.
No, even though you have that successful image, it won’t help you next month. You can’t rest on your laurels. You need to keep making strides towards an end goal. And more than likely, if you have the mindset to ponder changing how your company works, you’ve probably already have a plan.
But sometimes we sit on our butts and lament our failures from our past. And then we focus on them and somehow, make the decision to support those failures and do nothing to change them.
What do I mean?
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I can’t tell you how often I’ve seen someone want to do something but they are in this habit mode so when they try to sort out a promise to do something, they say they’ll try.
Try is not really an action. It’s a thought about action.
But when you make the active decision to decide on some course of action to take for some deed, it’s rather liberating.
One of the tricks I learned to help me make decisions was to focus intensely on the end result. To project my potential outcomes.
Here’s a simple example:
I don’t want to go to the gas station today. I’d rather ride my bike or go running. Eh… I’ll get gas later.
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In this Self Improvement session of my thoughts, (my life’s experiences being shared) I’m looking to chat about using will power to make decisions. In other words, to decide. It’s quite the power.
Sometimes we think we’re stuck in a rut and we never really try to think our way past it. I call some of the ruts bad habits. Habits of thought. Or bad thought patterns.
Sometimes all it takes is the moment when you decide about something to change something.
At one point in my past, I thought I never had the time to do some things that I always wanted to do. There just weren’t enough hours in the day. But then I caught myself. Turned out back then that when I arrived home from work, I’d turn on the TV and glue myself to it until bedtime. And that was why I didn’t have the time.
I “thought” I was busy. Or I was comfortable with the situation.
It was the oddest thing because once I decided to change my priority of what I wanted to do, I suddenly had oodles of free time to do it.
My only limitation was just a habit I had, but had not recognized it as the limitation. Once I decided which deed had more priority, things got easier to manage.
Weird, huh? Food for thought. Remember, “Life is change. Growth is optional.”
Now you know!
Did you know that tomorrow is the 1st day of the rest of your life? What are you going to do about that?
Are there things you wish you had done a few years ago, but didn’t? What’s holding you back from moving on those ideas now so that a few years from now, you aren’t looking back on this day the same way? (Just wondering.)
Sometimes you just can’t hope for good things, but you have to actually decide what you want your outcomes to be. It’s an amazing transformation when you find yourself not hoping for something, but feeling the fact that you’ve decided feel pretty good.
And as you practice this mental approach and it becomes more and more successful over time, it will suddenly be a habit you don’t have to think about.
Know your outcome. Take the actions that you find necessary to achieve your outcome. (Within the law people, within the law!)
Have you ever had days that just don’t pan out and you don’t know why? Things out of your control can just ruin your day if you let them. They can set off your anxiety & stress levels that for me, I personally hate encountering.
The trick is how to prepare for those days and those events.
No, I don’t mean have a contingency for everything possible that could happen. To be frank, that’s not possible!
But what you can do or approach your day is in how you set your goals within your own frame work. Don’t make a goal a do or die goal. Just set your goals with your intent and decide upon them. In most cases, you’ll achieve them.
Example:
I used to get pretty dang upset when unplanned events, or even dramas unfolded right in front of me. Backed up plumbing, blown tire, my car taking a dive on me. Of course these events and anything like them suck. But I used to get pretty wound up over any and all of these things. I knew I couldn’t keep going through life getting this agitated over everything.
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